Very Best Of FMyLife: iPhone Edition

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iPhones are great because you can use them to bash your enemies until they can't make noise! That's where FMylife comes in, collecting the worst moments of our lives, all in one place. Here are some of the best iPhone moments this week!

 

Did it work?

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

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Ow! Poof! Guffaw! Ugh!

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

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Then They Are Truly Blessed

Today, I found my lost iPhone earbuds. In the cat litter box. I am 100% sure that they passed through my cat to get there. FML

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Put Skunks In Their Bedroom

Today, was my birthday. I have been heavily hinting that I want an iPhone. I opened my present from my parents and found an iPhone box. Ecstatic, I quickly opened it. Apparently, my parents thought it would be funny to wrap my present, a $10 iTunes gift card, in the box my Dad's iPhone came in. FML

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Remind Me Not To Kiss Your Fingers

Today, I took my iPhone to the Apple store to get an answer as to why the touch screen wasn't working properly. The extremely attractive customer service rep told me I just had to clean off the layer of boogers caked onto the screen and keep my fingers out of my nose from now on. FML

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I'm Sorry For Your Pain

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

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Now You Will Not Be Allowed Upon The Ark

Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML

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Was One Of The Things You?

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

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Should Have Paid The Extra Five Bucks For Truck Proof

Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML

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They Could Have You Killed For That

Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas's voice...coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML

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