Very Best Of FMyLife: Lonely Facebook Edition

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Creepy old men are great because they live in the shadows and reach their leathery hands out to grab us while we sleep, But sometimes creepy old men can be a real bummer too. That's where FMylife comes in, collecting the worst moments of our lives, all in one place. Here are some of the best Fcaebook moments this week!

 

You'll Always Have Me!

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied,"What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

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Oh...NVM!

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

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MOM FTW!

Today, my mother commented "loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes. FML

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No One Wants To Be In This 1%

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

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Family..Can't Live With Them, Can't Smash Their Face Into A Brick Wall!

Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML

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That's What You Get For Being Desperate!

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

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Most Likely To Still Be Hated After High School

Today, while browsing facebook I found out that today was my school's class reunion. I was the ONLY one not invited. FML

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Forever Alone

Today, I made a Facebook under a guy's name and I'm sending myself wall posts just so it looks like I actually talk to a guy. FML

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Got MILF?

Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML

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GET OFF OF MY WALL!

Today, I got an alert from Facebook that it was my very popular and attractive classmate's birthday. I decided to be sweet and write "Happy birthday" on her wall, only to notice it wasn't there a few minutes later. I rewrote it again and it disappeared. After three attempts, I took the hint. FML

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