Video Game Characters Who Give the Best Hugs!
Hugs are great! I love hugs! I'd go out right now and hug someone but, you know, I'm playing video games. So instead I'll just imagine what video game characters would give the best hugs. That'll make me feel less empty, right? Right!
Mario has Luigi, Peach, even little mushroom friends around him at all time letting him know how great he at triple jumps or how amazing it was that he found 8 red coins in Tick Tock Clock. He's not going to hug you with any feeling. But Wario, though. Man, Wario's gonna hug you because he needs it.
As we all remember from the original Bioshock, Frank Fontaine became a monster freak after he overdosed on genteic code-altering Plasmids. What you may not remember is that the only type of plasmid he overdosed on was Lovey Bubbley Love— the cutest, sweetest plasmid in all of Rapture! Aww, the guy just wants to give you a squeeze! Would you kindly give him a squeeze?
Big fat guys give the best hugs, and Snorlax is the biggest fattest guy. Hugging him is like squeezing a giant bag of pancake bater mixed with Rice Krispies. Don't ask how I know that. I had a weird breakfast.
The weasel-faced guy from LA Noire
Whenever weasel-faced guy from LA Noire gets a chance at a hug, he makes the most of it. His job, investigating murders, is so sad all the time that he really needs a positive outlet for those feelings. And he cannot cry— his face makes people uncomfortable enough as it is. When he cries it gets all squishy and the people around him are so uncomfortable they start to feel dizzy. I don;'t think that's a common sensation, being so uncomfortable you're dizzy, but it keeps happening to people around LA Noire Guy when he's crying.
The collective Pikmin
You can't hug just one Pikmin. It'd be like hugging a tiny pushpin. But if you get a bunch of them together and hug them all at once, it's like hugging one great big giant pushpin!
Wait a minute— that isn't nice at all! Well. A hug's a hug.
While not technically a video game character, Gabe Newell does hold close one of the greatest secrets in the video game industry: The release date of Half Life 2: Episode 3. Hugging Gabe Newell is like a challenge— maybe if you give him a good enough hug, he'll whisper just the month into your ear. Gabe Newell is a great hugger because he makes you a better hugger. Besides that, he's so soft! The man is made out of blankets and casserole.
Which video game character do you think would give the absolute, all-time best hugs? Speak up in those comments below!