Video Game Characters Who Would Win a Gold Medal at the Summer Olympics
It’s a good thing that the Olympics committee doesn’t allow video game characters to compete alongside all of the real human competitors. They would sweep the games. Here are 9 video game characters that would win a Gold Medal at the Summer Olympics:
Weightlifting: Zangief from Street Fighter
Zangief might be the strongest character in the Street Fighter universe. His muscles have muscles and his muscles’ muscles could still lift more weight than any of the other competitors.
Tennis: Mario from Super Mario Bros.
We all have to have a dream. Do you really think Mario wanted to be a plumber when he was a kid? No. He spent all day and all night at the tennis courts training for the Olympics. He might have made it too if he hadn’t been sucked into the Mushroom Kingdom and forced to be their hero. At least, he was able to bring the sport to the people of the Mushroom Kingdom so he still gets to play.
Shooting: Master Chief from Halo
This one is a no brainer. There is no one better suited to using a bunch of different types of guns than Master Chief. He’ll just have to pretend that the targets are members of the Covenant.
Swimming: Pikachu from Pokemon
Pikachu will get a Gold Medal in swimming, but not because he’s a great swimmer. He will win by default when he jumps into the pool and electrocutes all of the other swimmers.
Taekwondo: Hwoarang from Tekken
Hworang is Tekken’s Taekwondo Master. He’s one of the only characters to beat the game’s protagonist, Jin. The only reason he hasn’t entered the Olympics is because he probably considers them to be beneath him.
Basketball: The Beastie Boys from NBA Jam
We’re not really sure what exactly the official Olympic rules are for jumping 20 feet in the air and dunking a basketball that is on fire. I feel that if it isn’t explicitly in the rule books, then it should be allowed.
Gymnastics: Connor Kenway from Assassin’s Creed 3
Connor Kenway would dominate the Olympics. He would sweep the gymnastics events like no one has ever seen. Well, maybe not the floor exercise, but definitely everything else.
Fencing: Kratos from God Of War
The only thing that would stop Kratos from winning the Gold medal in fencing is if he goes berserk and kills everyone in the arena. Fencers, judges, and the audience had better be careful when they see Kratos enter the building.
Archery: Link from The Legend of Zelda
Most of the Olympic archers are too soft. They learned how shoot a bow and arrow at country clubs while sipping iced tea and lemonade. Link learned how to shoot a bow and arrow in the mean streets of Hyrule while sipping health potion.
What are some other video game characters that would win Gold Medals? Let me know @zachlunch or tell us in the comments!