Video Games Our Former Presidents Would Play This Holiday Season
To be elected President, one must be a beacon of courage, hope, control, and disciple. It's often said that, upon taking office, a president must give up his own desires and think about what's best for the nation. And give himself solely to the office. But even the most dedicated public servant couldn't ignore the amazing crop of games coming out over the next month. Here is what our former United States presidents will or would be playing this holiday season.
Zelda: Skyward Sword - Jimmy Carter
The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword is a game about a simple boy called to become something great. While there is a chance this narrative appeals to the 'ole peanut farmer from Georgia, the actual reason he would play this game is because it's on the Wii and Jimmy Carter is old and only old people play the Wii.
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 - Richard Nixon
Can you imagine anything Richard Nixon would have loved more than an anonymous platform to call ten year olds vicious names?
Uncharted 3 - William Howard Taft
No one would rather play a game about finding rare treasures than William Howard Taft, whose well-documented and seemingly unquenchable thirst for gold and plunder ultimately cost him his reelection bid.
Assassin's Creed Revelations - Richard Nixon
Nixon would have also played this game because he loves stabbing his enemies in the back when they least suspect it. We should just acknowledge right now that Richard Nixon was the world's worst person.
Saint's Row the Third - James Polk
As the President who, amongst other accomplishments, secured over a third of the United States' current landmass, James Polk was hugely important to the country's history. But honest to God I could not pick James Polk out of a line up of one. He is absolutely our most forgotten-about President. James Polk seems like the kind of guy who you can't remember the next day if he showed up to the party or not. I feel like he would have a kinship with Saint's Row the Third, a game everyone in the world forgot was coming out this year.
Super Mario 3D Land - John F. Kennedy
The levels in Super Mario 3D Land are very short, so JFK could play one and then get back to nailin' hot broads.
Batman: Arkham City - George W. Bush
Wait. You're telling me that in Arkham City you play a vigilante who enters a crumbling, dangerous region run by mad despots in order to save the land you are sworn to protect? Was this game based on the Bush presidency?
What games would you play if you were President of the United States?Let us know in he comments!