6 Ways To Tell If Your Friends Are Avoiding You
So last week I lost 3 twitter followers. 3! (Make up for them by following my @danborrelli and my buddy @zuckattack) And I couldn't figure out why! I'm fun, I'm nice, I'm a good twitterer. So I guess the reason is that 3 of my followers, at the same exact time, all decided to become jerk-faces. So in an attempt to help my Smoshers out there; I decided to write about the 6 ways you can tell if your friends are ignoring you so that you don't suffer the same insecurities I now have. And remember, it gets better.
6. THE MONDAY TEXT
Friday day is the most fun phone day there is. The weekend plans start brewing and your Friday night quickly seems like it will turn out the way all of those booze commercials and horror movie first acts promise it will. Then comes Monday morning, and you realized you never heard from one of your friends. And you get the Monday text: "Sorry I never got back to you Friday. I get NO reception at my house. Hope your thing was fun!" Oh gee thanks for the afterthought, buddy. This is the college rejection letter of text messages and it’s bullcrap. It should read: "Thank you for your interest in our friendship. Unfortunately I have decided to spend my free time with people I actually like. If I run into you at any point in the future, please don’t be weird. Thank you and have a great day."
5. YOU FOUND OUT A FRIEND’S LIFE CHANGE THROUGH SOMEONE ELSE
When your friend Kyle tells you about how Mary learned that Dave is dating Ellie. You’re probably not friends with Dave. When Dave’s entire family dies in a horrible cruise ship fire and you don’t find out about it until 3 years later – Dave is definitely ignoring you.
4. THEY’RE STILL FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX
After a break your friends usually end up picking sides like children of divorce. However, there is the occasional friend that will try and stay friends with both mom and dad; despite the fact that mom and dad now HATE each other. Usually it’s not much of a problem. You’ll see your friend Monday, Wednesday, and every other weekend. And they’ll see your ex on the other days and alternating Jewish Holidays. It only becomes a problem when your friend starts to take a side. If they talk about how funny, nice, or “misunderstood” your ex is, they will probably begin to ignore you soon. Just be weary of the “back up QB” friend. The back up QB will wait in the wings for years up to and after you break up, then move in to date her and pick up where you left off. The plus side of that is YOU then get to do the ignoring.
3. THEY MAKE A PLAN FOR A DATE WAY IN ADVANCE
Casual plans shouldn’t require a save the date. Booking a coffee for May 2013 is a sure fire sign that hanging out is more of a task on the to-do list than it is a fun activity. Be weary of advanced planning.
2. THEY JUMP SOCIAL CIRCLES
This has been the topic of many a movie, and for good reason. Social circles have existed since the beginning of time. You think the caveman who invented the wheel was cool? No way, man. That guy was a dork in high school; then he became successful, moved to Silicon Valley, and married the hot cavewoman from those T Mobile commercials. It’s a part of natural selection, when you jump a social circle, you make new friends. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just part of life. Because just like your friend who now hangs out with the tall and handsome crew kids, you one day will have to climb away from people you’re friends with now. It’s not always a bad thing, people change right? Just make sure when it’s your turn you rip the Band-Aid off quickly. Nobody likes to find these things out the hard way…
So your friend isn’t responding to your texts, that’s fine, maybe their busy. Oh what’s that? They’re posting like crazy on Facebook about all the super fun things they’ve been doing while ignoring you? Okay, yes, maybe Facebook stalking makes you an OAF. BUT, desperate times, desperate measures. Just remember that your eyes don’t lie. If someone appears fake on the internet, be weary, because NOTHING is ever fake on the internet!
What’s your worst avoided moment? Let me know by tweeting at me @DanBorrelli or in the comments below