8 Weird Things You Can Get People To Do On Fiverr
Unless you've been living under a rock for the past decade or so, I'm sure you're aware of the fact that America's economy is pretty damn busted. Tons of people, out of work and desperate, are doing whatever it takes to hang on. Fiverr, a website where folks gleefully do other people's bidding for $5, is chock-full of these desperate souls, willing to debase themselves for less than the cost of a Big Mac combo meal. Some things they'll do are actually useful; others, well, are just plain absurd. Here are eight of the oddest.
This guy will paint faces on his feet and make them talk about "how awesome" you are. He doesn't clarify in his ad, however, if he gets a pedicure before he does so–you may find yourself too distracted by the dude's gnarly-ass toes to let the warmth of his feet's complimentary words wash over you. But for $5, what do you expect? A decent pedicure will run you at least $20.
If you've got a five-spot burning a hole in your pocket and wanna waste it on some good vibes, this person will gladly take it off your hands and think about you (or someone you instruct them to think of). According to them, "The thoughts will channel positive energy your way, and will make you smile." A guaranteed smile? Damn, they must be pretty good at thinkin'!
Sexy and Scary
"Have you always wanted a hot blonde to say your name while spinning nunchucks or wielding a sword?" If so, this woman is the evil woman of your deranged dreams. For $5, she'll "sexily motivate and threaten you" via a 30-second video of herself holding your choice of weapon and speaking in her "sexiest British, Southern, Australian or American dialect." Now, don't get any freaky ideas or nothin'; the whole shebang has gotta be PG-13, kids.
For $5, this entrepreneurial future cancer patient will smoke a cigarette while saying whatever you want. (That's a way to combat the high price of cigarettes, I guess.) By default, he'll do it in a "weird voice of [his] choice," but he's also willing to use a normal voice if you request it. Why, exactly, would you want to purchase one of his videos? Well, he thinks they're perfect for pre-bedtime viewing, marriage proposals or for folks who just want to "pretend we are hanging out, smokin, and having a nice ol' chat."
When it comes to Photoshop, I'm not the most proficient person I know–I'm also not the least proficient, though. If I had the desire to Photoshop someone's face into the foam on top of a cappuccino, I could probably do it. But why the hell would I, when I could just pay this person to?
Tired of your therapist's high rates and crappy attitude? Just throw five bucks this chick’s way and you'll be one step closer to mental health! She claims she's willing to chat about ANYTHING for 30 minutes–according to her, "there's never any judgement from me, and nothing is off limits!" Now, a lot of disgusting topics fall under the umbrella of "anything"; that being said, I'd have to earn a little more than $10 an hour in order to listen to someone's gross-ass problems. But that's just me–clearly I'm not as compassionate as this broad.
MS Paint Party
When you were a kid, you probably spent countless hours drawing "cruddy" pictures in MS Paint. You ain't a kid no more, though. That, combined with the fact that MS Paint is a laughably mediocre program, is why you no longer spend countless hours doing so. This person, however, is willing to willing to pick up where you left off and turn your ridiculous ideas into ridiculous reality. Recent masterpieces include "bigfoot in a tutu with a small white cat on its head" and "a guy with an afro holding fire balls and looking amazed."
For $5…AMERICAN, this Russian lady will don a "sexy" bikini and horse mask and dance while holding a sign of your choice. For an extra $5, she'll also say one sentence–nothing more, though, because "It's hard to talk in the mask."
What would you do for five bucks? Let me know in the comments!