Werewolves are Hotter than Vampires

You're on the edge of your seat waiting to see the new Twilight mire next week, right?

Well, I'm not. I can't stand the movies. But I am looking forward to the hotness that is Jacob exploding from every newsstand, and tabloid cover, and TMZ special for the next year.

 I know what you're thinking.. "WHAT?? You're Team Jacob?! You haven't even read the books, you ignorant twit! You know nothing of the Glory that is Edward Cullen." Well to that, my vampire-loving foe, I simply say "Bite me."

Why do I choose the werewolf over the much more popular Vampire? Simple.

Werewolves are like, a hundred times sexier than Vampires. First of all, (and most importantly) Werewolves are much more badass creatures by nature. If you polled fifty people in some random country that had no idea what Twilight was, and asked "Which is more badass, a big bad wolf or a fruit bat?" Not one of them would choose bats. Sure, fruit bats don't drink blood like the vampires in Twilight, but the Cullens are "vegetarian" vampires anyway so they might as well be the lame-o fruit bats.

Now think about this for a second, whats gayer than pink unicorns riding a giant vespa and singing "Macho Man" by the Village People? THAT'S RIGHT, YOU GUESSED IT. If only they were doused in GLITTER! Ironically enough, the vampires in Twilight glitter when they go in sunlight. Im sorry, but I'm not a ferret. Just because you are shiny doesn't mean I'll instantly become attracted to you. I want a sparkling personality, not complexion.

Through my extensive research on the matter (wikipedia,LOL) I found another reason why werewolves are like, a hundred times better than vampires. THEY AGE (if they don't regularly turn into their wolf form) and vampires don't. Who the hell wants a boyfriend whose who has to three-peat high school. You'd be all, "Wanna go ice skating?" and he'd be all, "Been there, done that." Sounds like a boooooring boyfriend.

Oh yeah, and you also don't have to worry about them wanting to EAT you all the time.

Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?

 

Check Out These Twilight New Moon Deleted Scenes!