Smosh Funny videos, Funny Pictures, Images, Comedy Online

What to Do After A Ghost Sighting

We've all been there- you see a ghost and simply freeze- maybe because you're scared. Maybe you don't know how to react. Maybe you're literally being frozen by the ghost. Whatever the case may be, you need to take some steps to ensure this ghost that his Earthly business is complete. Here's a checklist to run through the next time you find yourself confronted by a ghost.

Chant from the Religious Text of Choice

(source)

Most ghosts will turn tail at any mention of religion. Not because spirituality has the power to conquer the lost souls, but because ghosts get tired of hearing about religion all the time. That's why most of them left Heaven in the first place.

Double Down on Your Relationship

(source)

Over eighty two percent of all ghost sightings are because of dead sweethearts returning to destroy the new relationships of their former loves. So to get rid of them, you've got to show that ghost how much you care about your new relationship. So send some flowers. Swing by Build-a-Bear Workshop. Pick up a card from the Walgreen's on your way home. It's not a lot, but it's the thought that counts. Especially when you're hoping that thought will destroy your dead lover's spirit once and for all!

Be Positive

(source)

You've got to imagine that most ghosts are pretty down in the dumps, what with never being able to hold their loved ones close or eat food or participate in Earthly games like Footbal American ever again. Maybe you can cheer them up by explaining that there are benefits to being dead, like floating and haunting and maybe even hanging out with Bill Cosby. Did Bill Cosby actually die or am I just thinking of Ghost Dad?

OH!

Make Sure the Ghost isn't your Dad, like Bill Cosby in Ghost Dad

(source)

If this is what's going on, don't play catch with your ghost dad. The moment the ball flies through his non-corrporeal hand, your ghost dad will get sad and realize he'll never be able fix his relationship with you. Not really.

Repent All the Things You've Done

(source)

Sometimes ghosts are manifestations of the negative feelings you have towards specific moments in your life, like the time you tried to hold that girl's hand and she pulled it away or the time you didn't bring a present to your friend's birthday party even though everyone else did or the time you pushed that girl who was like three grades younger than you out of the back seat of the bus or the time you stole 100 dollars from your mom and bought video games and watched her cry at the dinner table because she didn't know how she was going to pay your private school bill that month or the time you cheated on that girlfriend who was just really sweet and yeah she was dumb but you should have just been honest and broken it off rather than being cowardly and reinforcing her poor self-image and destroying her chances of ever trusting anyone in a relationship ever again. So yeah, just really quick get right with all that and it should be fine.

Stop Drop and Roll

(source)

If a ghost thinks there's a fire they might run away. Listenyouareclearlyrunningoutofoptionsifyou'restillreadingthislistandhaven'tfiguredouthowtodealwith thisghostyetjusttryitallreadyJesusChrist.

Immediately Stop Desecrating Whatever You're Desecrating

(source)

Oh yeah- you're probably seeing a ghost because of all the Indian burial grounds you've been digging up and urinating on! I'll bet if you cut that out your problem will clear up in no time. We probably should have thought of that first, but you know what they say: the non-corropreal being is always defeated by the last supernatural defense mechanism you invoke!

What's your strategy for when you run into a ghost? Let us know in the comments!

Check Out 7 Ways Ghosts Can Haunt You With Technology!

Tags: fire safety, ghost, halloween bill cosby, indian burial ground