What Do Your Parents Do While You're Asleep?

A wiser man than I once said, “Parents just don’t understand.” I think it was Ben Franklin or maybe that old guy from the Karate Kid. Regardless, parents do a bunch of stuff that we’ll never comprehend. And that’s just the stuff we SEE them do. What about when you’re asleep? Thanks to Smosh’s crack research team, we’ve discovered pretty much every thing your parents do while you’re asleep:

 

STAND OVER YOUR BED OMINOUSLY AND TRY TO INFLUENCE YOUR DREAMS

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Of COURSE you don’t listen to your parents when you’re awake. That’s why they ever so quietly whisper suggestions into your ears when you sleep… can you blame them? The sentiments range from “Eat your vegetables,” to “Tell your Father to start loving me again.”

 

COME TO LIFE AND TRY TO HELP ANDY

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Parents seem so docile during the day. THIS IS AN ELABORATE RUSE. At night when you’re on the sleepytime train to YawnYawn station, they (dressed as cowboys and spacemen) come to life and try to better the life of one teenage cartoon character.

 

FIGHT CLUBS

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The first rule of Mom and Dad Fight Club is: Don’t Talk About Mom And Dad Fight Club. The second rule of Mom and Dad Fight Club is: Khakis only, please.

 

TRY TO REMEMBER WHEN THEY HAD ANY FUN AT ALL

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Sometimes they get really close, but it always * just * evades their grasps.

 

LISTEN TO AND ENJOY ALL OF YOUR MUSIC

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Mom and Dad do a good job pretending not to understand what a Ke$ha is, but FUN FACT: Dad sleeps COVERED in glitter and Mom brushes her teeth with a bottle of Jack every night.

 

WRITE BORING TWILIGHT FANFIC

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Leave it up to mom to have Bella ignore both hunks and instead focus on becoming the first woman president.

 

SPIT IN YOUR HAIR

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They think it's funny. And, what's more, they're right.

 

What have YOU seen your parents do while they thought you were asleep? Let us know in the comments!

 

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