What To Expect From Clint Eastwood's Family's New Reality Show

Clint Eastwood's family is getting a reality show for no discernable reason. Not one reason.

Did even one single person in America wake up this morning and say, "You know what I give a sh*t about? What Clint Eastwood's family plans to do today." Yet, it's happening.Ol' Grizzleface, as he is known by his contemporaries, is going to have his private life on display for us, which I'm sure pisses him right the hell off. You know Clint Eastwood was not the one who proposed this idea, you know one of his fame starved teenage daughters probably begged him to do it. So for sure he's going to be hiding in the bathroom the whole time and remembering when he didn't have kids and he could just focus on smoking cigarettes and manfully using his stubble to sharpen knives. What I want to know is: what can we expect to see in the show?

 

Not Clint Eastwood

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Because he'll be hiding in the bathroom all pissed off, staring in the mirror and asking how Dirty Harry came to this.

 

His Daughters Making Sexy Faces

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Clearly his hotter daughter wants us to have sex with her, seeins as how in the very first press from the show she's already making the universal, "please do me now" face. 

 

Boring Eastwood Family Drama

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Did the Eastwood girls both accidentally wear the same dress to the Homecoming dance, oh sh*t they did! Let's all give a crap about that for the next 22 minutes of our lives!

 

A Room Completely Full Of Unused Copies Of "J. Edgar"

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Because it didn't do well. GET IT?!?!

 

Weird Pets

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Clint Eastwood's way, way too tough for normal animal pets. He'd have some seriously intense ass pets.

 

Either A Wife Or Daughter Desperate To Grab A Piece Of The Spotlight

Whichever of them had this bright idea is going to be trying so hard for us to like them and care about their way too rich person lives. Try the drinking game: "An Eastwood tries to hard": where every time one of the Eastwoods is clearly not being themselves because they think it's what we want to see you take a drink!

 

Clint Eastwood Firing Guns At Doors To Open Them

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Clint fires guns at doors to open them, not because he's incredibly tough, but because he has downs syndrome.

 

What other things ought we expect from this stupid new show? Let us know in the comments!

 

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