What Happened to Disney Characters’ OTHER Parent

Disney animated films have a long history of lead characters with only one parent and absolutely no explanation for the missing mother or father. But now, for the first time, you can know what truly happened to those unseen, unheralded parental figures…

 

Ariel’s Mom (“The Little Mermaid”)

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Given that her dad is King Triton—ruler of the sea with all the tax exemptions given such—one would naturally assume that Ariel’s mom was a queen or at least an offspring of waterlogged royalty. But alas, her mom was not only a commoner but also a mere human. In fact, Ariel’s mom was a grad senior studying oceanography when she met and fell in love with Triton, maintaining their relationship in one-hour oxygen tank intervals. Eventually the student gave birth to Ariel at Coney Island Hospital to a very confused OBGYN and watched her daughter grow from a short distance in a mini-sub equipped with “mom hugging” mechanical arms.

 

Belle’s Mom (“Beauty and the Beast”)

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A constant inventor, Belle’s dad Maurice had little time to enjoy a social life, much less meet someone who could birth a daughter. Thus, believing he could do Pinocchio’s dad Geppetto one better by using human DNA instead of the wooden leg from a discarded coffee table, Maurice created his own child in a lab (thanks to some seed money from AstraZeneca). The “Bookish Belle,” however, was actually Maurice’s 18th attempt at creating human progeny, preceded by the much shorter-lived versions “Fire-Eating Belle,” “Motorcycle-Jousting Belle” and “I-Bet-I-Could-Fly-By-Just-Holding-Feathers Belle.”

 

Cinderella’s Mom (“Cinderella”)

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By this point one begins to wonder what exactly Walt Disney has against mothers. Is it that the studio thinks moms aren’t necessary or that Disney dads are simply incapable of holding on to a good woman? In the case of Cinderella, though, the answer is simple—her Fairy Godmother is in fact her real mom. Years ago the Godmother—in a move similar to when she created a carriage for Cinderella out of a pumpkin—tried to create a stretch limo out of spaghetti squash and a bean medley for some drunk high prom dates. However, she sneezed during the incantation and inadvertently created a beautiful baby girl. She also accidentally inflicted the Cruciatus Curse on three of the high school seniors and released a patronus that years later became Mufasa

 

Jasmine’s Mom (“Aladdin”)

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Rumor is that Jasmine’s mom actually appeared in an early version of the movie but was cut when her salary demands could not be met and the studio realized they didn’t have to pay a cartoon character anything anyway. But the truth is that the mother’s appearance was edited out for time and placed in Disney’s vault. There she was doomed to reenact the same scene over and over and over again in solitude until she completely lost her mind so that instead of calmly asking Jasmine “What would you like for breakfast” she now wears a tea steaming kettle on her head and screams, “PANCAKES ATE MY LEFT SHOE!!!”

 

Dumbo’s Dad (“Dumbo”)

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And so at last we come to a story involving an unseen dad. Of course, in Dumbo’s case the dad was never in the picture to begin with. That’s because instead of being sired, the baby elephant just magically appeared thanks to being carried by a still-hospitalized stork. Years later a now-flying Dumbo soared up to the Stork Baby Headquarters (a subsidiary of PepsiCo) high in the clouds to learn how exactly he came to be. Unfortunately, what he learned up there proved so horrifying, so monstrous, that it shook him to his very core. For the rest of his life Dumbo refused to share his discovery about how all babies are created by the storks except occasionally to stare into the distance with a terrified gaze and mutter, “So…much…rat feces…”

 

Snow White’s Mom and Dad (“Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”)

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And finally here we have a case where either due to misfortune or outright carelessness a main character seems to have misplaced BOTH her parents. But have no fear, because thanks to an attempted murder Snow White runs away and manages to find surrogate parents in the form of seven little men who—judging from the picture above—apparently do not grasp the meaning of “privacy” or “closed door.” As for what happened to Snow’s original folks, that remains a mystery. Some say her parents were eaten by ogres. Others say they were turned into ogres. And a few say that if you watch the movie closely enough you can actually see her parents trying to reach her by cell phone as their plane waits on the tarmac for the last 18 years, awaiting any word of when it may take off.

 

Where did other Disney parents end up? Let us know in the comments!

 

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