What Mario's Enemies Would Say To Mario If They Could Speak

Mario's enemies dare not speak when they see their oppressor, one Mario Spaghetterelli (yes, that's his last name) jumping and stomping and fireballing his way towards them. But, if they to be just un-terrified enough to speak, what would they say?




"I promised my son I'd outlive him... I guess you're going to make me break that promise."


Green Koopa Troopa


"Please, I was just walking to the store to get Green Koopa food for my wife and children. What kind of a monster are you?"


Hammer Bros.


"I sure do love throwing these hammers for charity. Every hammer I throw means more money for AIDS research. Wait, ARGH! Why are you hurting me! I am a stranger to you!"




"Can you help me avenge my death, so I can get into heaven?"


Big Boo


"Excuse me sir it's been so long since a living person came here, and I am so lonely... have been lonley for so long. Can you just hold my hand? Just for a moment. I think... I think that would be enough."


Bullet Bill




Red Koopa Troopa


"Hey have you watched Mad Men? I haven't gotten a chance to yet, but I hear it's really go- *it was at that point that Mario leapt upon him, crushing his back, severing his spinal column and killing him instantly*."




"I love being happy and walking back and forth right here! You seem like a nice stranger! I'm going to put my complete faith in you!"




"First you kept us out of the same restaurants, and bathrooms. Then you sent in the dogs and the hoses. Now, Mario, you come to brutalize us yourself. But know that, your oppression only fires the coals of our need to resist."


Kicking Chargin' Chuck


"All we wanted to do was play a friendly game of football before we went back to the office."




"Our lifespans are so short. How do you find so much joy in taking away what little time we have?'




"I do not seek your blood, my will is not to vanquish you. It is merely my purpose, to which I was set, and for which I was designed. As the wolf wishes no harm on the rabbit. I wish not for your downfall, and regret my role in it."


What would other Mario enemies say to Mario right before he strikes the final blow? Let us know in the comments!


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