What Miley Cyrus is REALLY Telling Us With Her Tongue
Remember when we in America were all scandalized by Miley Cyrus’ tongue? Well, now that a little time has gone by, we can finally analyze why she did that, because it's clear now that Miley wasn’t just wagging around her tongue for no reason — she had a message. Her brilliant deconstruction of pop music went all the way down to secret messages being transmitted by her tongue, and now, after careful analysis, we’ve looked at a few pictures and figured out what she was trying to tell us…
Notice the way it juts straight out to the side, clearly indicating her use of the left side of her brain, where memories are stored. Miley is reflecting on her life, and how she got to this point.
The way the tongue is just hanging out of her mouth, one eye closed, the other nearly there. Miley is clearly upset that the crisis in Syria hasn’t been resolved, but is unsure of the best way to resolve it.
“Captain America looks different than he does in the movie.”
This one is harder to parse, but I think there are two options: One, Miley is thinking about the way media has seized lesbianism and exploited it for heterosexual male viewers. Two, she’s thinking about the food platter back in her green room.
”Even I, Miley Cyrus, am thinking this may be a bit much.”
Look at the way her tongue is not pointing towards the peace sign she’s making with her hands; clearly Miley believes peace in our society, as currently constructed, is impossible.
Here, with just the tip of her tongue sticking out, Miley is clearly considering the presidency of Barack Obama, and how he came in with so much promise, but has struggled in his second term.
The way it’s rigid, tense, jutting out the side away from the thumbs up she’s giving; Miley is exhausted with fame.
Her tongue is so flat, so wide, like it’s stretching out towards everyone around her, pulling them in for hug. Miley wants to hug the world.
With her tongue long and snakelike, Miley is considering Adam taking a bite from the apple in the garden, and the origins of sin in mankind.
Her tongue is clearly considering why she chose to wear shorts that look like a diaper.
Her fingers pointing up while her limp tongue lies flat against her mouth. Miley thinks peace is dead.
The appeal of the spectrally macabre is generally narrow because it demands from the reader a certain degree of imagination and a capacity for detachment from everyday life.
YEAH GUYS, RIGHT? Let me know in the comments!