What Miley Cyrus is REALLY Telling Us With Her Tongue

Remember when we in America were all scandalized by Miley Cyrus’ tongue? Well, now that a little time has gone by, we can finally analyze why she did that, because it's clear now that Miley wasn’t just wagging around her tongue for no reason — she had a message. Her brilliant deconstruction of pop music went all the way down to secret messages being transmitted by her tongue, and now, after careful analysis, we’ve looked at a few pictures and figured out what she was trying to tell us…

 

miley cyrus with her tongue out

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Notice the way it juts straight out to the side, clearly indicating her use of the left side of her brain, where memories are stored. Miley is reflecting on her life, and how she got to this point.

 

miley cyrus with her tongue out

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The way the tongue is just hanging out of her mouth, one eye closed, the other nearly there. Miley is clearly upset that the crisis in Syria hasn’t been resolved, but is unsure of the best way to resolve it.

 

miley cyrus with her tongue out

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“Captain America looks different than he does in the movie.”

 

miley cyrus with her tongue out

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This one is harder to parse, but I think there are two options: One, Miley is thinking about the way media has seized lesbianism and exploited it for heterosexual male viewers. Two, she’s thinking about the food platter back in her green room.

 

miley cyrus with her tongue out

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”Even I, Miley Cyrus, am thinking this may be a bit much.”

 

miley cyrus wither tongue out

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Look at the way her tongue is not pointing towards the peace sign she’s making with her hands; clearly Miley believes peace in our society, as currently constructed, is impossible.

 

miley cyrus with her tongue out

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Here, with just the tip of her tongue sticking out, Miley is clearly considering the presidency of Barack Obama, and how he came in with so much promise, but has struggled in his second term.

 

miley cyrus with her tongue out

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The way it’s rigid, tense, jutting out the side away from the thumbs up she’s giving; Miley is exhausted with fame.

 

miley cyrus with her tongue out

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Her tongue is so flat, so wide, like it’s stretching out towards everyone around her, pulling them in for hug. Miley wants to hug the world.

 

miley cyrus with her tongue out

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With her tongue long and snakelike, Miley is considering Adam taking a bite from the apple in the garden, and the origins of sin in mankind.

 

miley cyrus with her tongue out

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Her tongue is clearly considering why she chose to wear shorts that look like a diaper.

 

miley cyrus with her tongue out

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Her fingers pointing up while her limp tongue lies flat against her mouth. Miley thinks peace is dead.

 

miley cyrus with her tongue out

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The appeal of the spectrally macabre is generally narrow because it demands from the reader a certain degree of imagination and a capacity for detachment from everyday life.

 

YEAH GUYS, RIGHT? Let me know in the comments!

Check out The 10 Most WTF Moments From Miley’s VMA Performance!