What We Can Expect From Snooki's Baby Product Line
From Snooki’s pregnancy to Teen Mom, pop-culture-savvy women are clamoring for a way to get in on the glamorous lifestyle of premature motherhood. It’s only a matter of time before MTV does a collab with Johnson & Johnson for Walmart. Here’s what we can expect in Snooki’s inevitable line of baby products.
Bronzer Baby Powder
Snooki thinks every baby’s butt deserves a tan. His bottom is going to be on display for anyone changing his diaper, why not make it look HAWT? Plus, Mommy can use the powder to disguise the grease in her hairline after having been out all night.
Baby Bump-It/Fontanelle Guard
Yeah, Mommy probably doesn’t know about that thing where the baby’s skull hasn’t fully finished forming yet, so Baby’s going to need a little extra protection. With the Baby Bump-It, not only does the infant get to rock a tiny guidette hairdo, but Mommy won’t accidentally disrupt any bone ossification!
Snooki’s legendary drunk burps have been encapsulated in several seasons of internationally viewed television, so it’s only natural that her line of baby products supports the ultimate in gas expulsion. With Snooki’s Belching Cloths, moms can encourage their babies to feel comfortable burping as loudly and obnoxiously as possible, without worrying about staining any leopard print tube tops with leak-through spit-up.
Because it’s hard enough to remember to put on your own underwear, not to mention someone else’s.
Any Meatball-Mommy worth her margarita salt is not letting that baby’s mouth near her tatas. Good thing they’ve invented the Fist Pump, the machine that lets you pump milk out of your breasts via your fist. We don’t know if it works, but whatever, at least you’re now DTF!
The most important product in Snooki’s line, parents can use the Flip Cam to document every waking moment of their child’s life, especially the most demeaning and embarrassing ones. He/she will thank you later when they make their first million off footage of them falling out of their high chair!
What else can we expect in Snooki’s line of baby products? Let us know in the comments!