What Would Happen To 'Big Time Rush' In Real Life

In the fantastical world of Big Time Rush the boys of Big Time Rush get to Hollywood and live a lavish lifestyle filled with fun and the Bacchanalian pleasures of excess. But how would this bright eyed youngsome foursome of handsome teen boys fair in real life? Let's find out step by step what would actually happen:

 

They'd Get To Hollywood

Excited to check out the glitz and glamour of the Hollywood they'd heard of their whole lives growing in Minnesota, the boys would get off the Greyhound they took to get here and get an eye-full of the town they'd heard so much about.

 

They'd Audition To Be On American Idol

They'd stand in line overnight and wake up the next morning with dew in their hair waiting in line for their chance to audition to be on the latest season of American Idol.

 

They Would Not Get On

There are more attractive young guys who can play instruments in Hollywood than there are stars in the sky. So the boys would have almost no chance in Hell of getting on. But where would they go next?

 

To Save Money They'd Share A Studio Apartament In A Bad Part Of Town

Rent is more flexible in some of the seedier areas of Hollywood, so the boys, ever the troopers, would move in together to save money while they figure out a new plan to get famous.

 

They'd Try To Get Real Jobs To Pay For Their Apartment

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Unable to secure even a waiter gig the boys would desperately search through Craig's List until they found an add that said, "Want To Be Famous?????? I'm a Producer! If you're an attractive young man with a nice looking smile and soft, pleasure-giving hands give me a call!" 

 

They'd all be a little put off by the "soft, pleasure giving hands" part of the Craig's List add, but out of options they'd make the call.

 

After Leaving The Producer's House, And Horrified At What They Were Willing To Do For 50 Dollars At This Point, The Boys Attempt To Regroup

Their attempt to regroup fails. Kendall tries to commit suicide by leaping off the Hollywood sign but only manages to permanently break both his legs, Carlos gets addicted to sniffing white-out and ends up homeless and using a raccoon as a pillow, Logan finally lands a real job wrestling female turkeys in a meat factory so that he can hold them down while a machine beheads them, and James gets hit by a car and dies trying to cross the street to get to a liquor store to steal some deodorant for a job inteview. 

 

Meanwhile, Steven Tyler Continues To Look Weirder Every Year

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This strange process is inevitable, it cannot be stopped.

 

What else would really happen to Big Time Rush? Let us know in the comments!

 

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