What Your Favorite Blockbuster Says About You
Your local cineplex isn't just a sweet spot to eat nachos, lounge in air conditioned comfort and do sexually inappropriate things in the dark – it's also a place where you can let your freak flag fly. The plots, characters and costumes you choose to watch on the silver screen are worth way more than the $10 you paid to see 'em. They're an extension of yourself. Like it or not, the cinematic choices you make say a lot about you. What, exactly, do they say? Great question. Let's discuss.
Card-carrying Twihards have only one dream in life – to be impregnated by a vampire. C'mon, ladies! We've had the right to vote for, like, twenty years! Dream harder!
If you're gaga over the H. Pot, you clearly HATE the gospel. But you LOVE black magic! How do you live with yourself, you heathen?
Did you pay $78 to see Avatar in 3-D five times? If so, you must only like movies that look like video games. And if that's the case, might I recommend a lovely little picture entitled Crank?
Does the romance of Jack and Rose make your heart flutter like a beautiful butterfly? Then you must not care that 1500 people died to make that sweet, sweet love possible (in the REAL Titanic tragedy, kids). You monster!
The Dark Knight
If you're obsessed with The Dark Knight, you're one of those people who couldn't stop talking about how much The Dark Knight ruled a couple years back. And for that, I will never forgive you. (I get it, dude. It's brilliant.)
Pirates of the Caribbean
Spend a ton o' booty on Pirates related paraphernalia? You probably think OMG Johnny Depp is the hottest dude that's ever existed and did you see him in Cry Baby when his hair's all slicked back and he's on a motorcycle he's perfect omigod I just want him so bad you have no idea he's the perfect guy he's sooooo beautiful
If you're super into Transformers, you probably poster your room in pictures of hot chicks. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, dude, but that's the closest you'll ever get to hot chicks. Now go check the mail – I think the latest issue of Maximmight be in there.
The Lord of the Rings
LOTR FTW? I've got two words for you: NEEEEERRR DDDDD. Nerd.
The Hunger Games
Hunger Gamer? That must mean you hate subtitles (which is why you didn't just watch Battle Royale instead).
Being super into The Matrix means two things. One: You have a base level knowledge of philosophy. Two: You wore nothing but a soiled black trench coat for the entire four years of high school.
What else do huge flicks say about their fans? Let me know in the comments, or tell me @Bornferal!