What Your Favorite New Fall TV Show Says About You

My DVR has been causing me a great deal of anxiety lately. A lot of new TV shows have premiered in the past few months, and I compulsively must allow each of them three chances before deciding if I like the show or will never watch it again, ever. In case you don’t have that kind of time or as many mental issues, I’ve put together a guide to help you narrow down what new TV show will be the best fit for your personality. If you’re…

 

Brilliant But Unstable

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If you consider yourself “adorkable” or crush on girls who do, then “New Girl” is the show for you. Be prepared, however, for a lot of crying. Like, an embarrassing amount from both genders. But hey, there’ll be singing in thirty seconds, so you’ll hang in there. Zooey Deschanel, we don’t know how to quit you.

 

Brave

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“Homeland” is actually really scary because you don’t know when they’re going to pop to horrifying torture scenes. Personally, I need some mental preparation before seeing a man strung naked from the ceiling, but if you’re one of those people who won’t then fall asleep envisioning a terrorist hiding in your closet, it’s a must-see.

 

Super cute!

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A show best watched with a pink drink in one hand and gourmet cupcakes in the other, “Once Upon A Time” will be a fav among the girls who take great pride in being a girl’s girl. It’s got a precocious little kid, hot-but-approachable prince and sheriff, and some compelling romantic storylines… what more could you want? That being said, a lot of the female characters are total badasses, so you won’t have to feel silly about it. Yay!

 

Powerful

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For those women who want to have it all: baby, loving spouse, demanding job, Christina Applegate’s complexion, or some earlier-stage-in-life variation of all the above, look no further than “Up All Night.” This show feeds right into the fantasy that everything will always work out and the people around you will totally get it and support you. It’s like Overachiever Porn.

 

Awesome In Every Way

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D-bags need not apply – only the most awesome among us will truly understand the greatness that is ABC’s “Man Up!” From the whip-smart writing to the nuanced acting to the color scheme, the program is truly a stroke of genius. Full disclosure: this author works on the show. But seriously, you won’t not like it!

 

Cyborg From The Future

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If you’re a cyborg from the future, then you already know you enjoy the not-yet-premiered ABC sitcom, “Apartment 23.” Too bad you can’t discuss it with the rest of us simple humans, since breaching the time barrier would totally screw with the universe in a way that could potentially destroy our way of life as we know it. Although maybe then you could just make it so “Arrested Development” was never canceled.

What shows are you watching this fall? Let us know in the comments!

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