What Your Mom Is Trying To Tell You By The Contents Of Your Easter Basket
Does your mom still give you Easter baskets? Mine too! But ever since I've left grade school, there's been something in my Easter basket besides candy and that weird fake grass-- an AGENDA. Here's what your mom is trying to tell you by what she's putting in your Easter basket:
1. Roll of Quarters
You're going to have to learn to do your own laundry at some point. Why not Easter?
2. Whey Protein, Dumbbells, or Raw Meat
Any one of these gifts indicate that your mom is getting worried about your frail, sickly body type. She wants you to put on some weight. It's tough for a mother to sleep when she's concerned her tiny-boned child may not make it through the winter.
3. Stephen King's "The Dark Tower" Series
By giving you the Dark Tower series, your mom is really saying you have to stop reading Harry Potter. It's becoming clear they're a bad influence on you. With the family reunion coming up in May, your mom can't have you chasing Aunt Caroline, trying to cast the Patronus Charm on her. She's not secretly a Dementor, for crying out loud. She only looks like that because she has a condition.
4. The 1st Season of Community
Your mom has so so much love for you.
5. The 1st season of Mike and Molly
Your mom has so so much hate for you.
6. The 1st season of Modern Family
Your mom has so so much indifference for you. I mean, you're okay, but not anything special. She just doesn't understand what the big deal is with you, I guess.
7. SAT Prep Book
Clearly worried you're spending too much time on ART and not on your studies, your mom wants you back on the fast-track to success. After all, if you stay on the path you're on, you'll never be a doctor like her and your father. And you do want to be a doctor, don't you? Of course you do. End of discussion.
8. Baby Teeth
This is a reminder that your mother treasures everything about you, no matter how weird it may seem. Either that, or she's decided that, should the worst happen, she has no interest in cloning you.
Have you decoded any more of your mom's passive-aggressive Easter gifts? Let us know in the comments!