What Your Significant Other Is REALLY Saying In Their Texts

Reality television. 7-11 taquitos. The nuclear bomb. Of all of mankind's most destructive inventions, none have caused as much harm as texting. Without tone and facial expressions, every statement from your already hard to understand significant other gets misconstrued. But worry not gentle texter! I've been in this very situation before and I'm here to let you know what all those confusing texts actually mean!

 

"I can't hang out tonight. I'm going to a birthday party"

(source)

Of course this means they simply don't want to hang out with you. The lie is given away when The secret is that there is literally no such thing as a birthday party. I know because I've never been invited to even a single birthday party.

 

"what is your friend Mark's favorite restaurant?"

(source)

She's really asking what your favorite restaurant is, but doesn't want to come out and ask. I think.

 

Single word responses like "yes" and "lol"

(source)

This unfortunately means they're not interested in the conversation. Your next text had better be super interesting. I had a small list of facts from World War 1 at the ready for just this type of situation. For instance, did you know that World War 1 was the first war with unrestricted submarine warfare? Whoa!

 

"L" followed immediately by "K"

(source)

They meant to type "K" but accidentally typed "L".

 

"i won't be home tonight because me and your friend Mark are going to play tennis for the rest of the night"

(source)

Sometimes, your significant other will hint that she wants you to start exercising more by describing her exercise routine. In fact, she probably has all those pictures of Mark without a shirt on her phone because she wants to motivate you into getting in shape.

 

"Mmmm"

When you ask a question and the only thing you get back is a string of "M"s, that means they wany to say no but are too polite to actually say no. This is the worst response to get if you propose over text.

 

"i'm literally having an affair with your friend Mark"

(source)

That has to be a typo. She must mean she's having a platonic bowl of ice cream with my friend Mark.

What texts have you gotten that you just had no idea how to deal with? Let's see if we can figure them out in the comments!

 

Check out Texting Is Bad For Your Health!