Where Do Video Game Bosses Go When They Die?
I've been killing a lot of bosses in video games these days. Why, just yesterday in God of War 3 I punched Hercules' face into nothing with these giant lion gloves. But then I started to feel guilty — to what metaphysical realm had I sent him? So with the help of a Oiji board, Google, a spiritual medium, and the third season of TV's "Medium", I've learned the final destination of all these video game bosses I've slain.
After having a heart attack at the end of the first Metal Gear Solid, Liquid Snake's soul found itself relegated to the awkward purgatory of Revolver Ocelot's arm. Interestingly enough, this fate was shared by Whitney Houston.
We're not certain where The Nemesis ended up, because there actually isn't a lot of dogma regarding the afterlife in the Jewish religion. Oh, you didn't know The Nemesis was Jewish? Maybe if you'd taken the time to talk with him once in a while he was alive.
That guy from Uncharted 2. The foreign guy. You know.
See, Gannondorf has almost died like 30 times, but he keeps getting trapped in, like, Triforce crystals or something and coming back. This is because Gannondorf knows that when you die you do nothing but rot in the ground.
M. Bison has unfinished business with the fighter who beat him (probably E. Honda, that thousand hand slap is super cheap), but there aren't a lot of resources for dead, human males, so M. Bison has an application in to that Sixth Sense kid. What was his name? Billy Joel Comet? Whatever, that movie sucked.
After being killed mid-way through Super Metroid, Kraid was reincarnated as Zac Moncrief, who went on to graduate from the California Institute of Arts with a degree in animation. Recently, Zac Moncrief has been directing episodes of Phineas and Ferb and describes himself as "content".
King K. Rool
Since he was a huge dick, King K. Rool went to Alligator Hell, a special level of hell that is extremely cold and full of motorboats. It also has a bunch of those plastic six pack rings floating in the water because Alligator Hell doubles as Dolphin Hell. This was done to save space.
Which of these nether-realms do you hope to go to? Let me know on Twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!