Where The High School Musical Kids Are Gonna Be In 20 Years
Those High School Musical kids sure are a peppy bunch of youngsters. They have a ball! But one thing they don't have is the ability to avoid the inevitable slow decay into the end of life. So let's where they'll be 20 years from now!
At 44 years of age Zac Efron's career will look very different. He will have aged in a Clooney-esque way. His salt and pepper hair belaying a charming wisdom gained from years of having an intelligent view of his fame and it's utility. He will take a hard left and use his fame to promote social causes he believes in and actively campaign against corporate influence on the media, global warming, and American imperialism. And like Clooney, by the time he is 44 he will have had sex with over 94% of all the women in the United States. Even more like, Clooney, over 88% of them will have been thoroughly satisfied. Two will not survive.
In her mid 40's Vanessa Hudgens, like all female actresses will no longer be marketable because college age guys don't want to bone her anymore. So she will have to get a job going door to door selling vaccuum cleaner bags. She will not be good at this job. She'll try eating dog food to save money. It will save her money.
Ashley will age gracefully, moving from acting into directing. She will direct a very succesfull movie about a dolphin that befriends a little boy. The sequel to the film, which she will insist will be the "gritty, urban, real" story that she wanted to tell, will end with the dolphin learning how to use a butterfly knife and accidentally killing the young boy in a knife fight, then taking his own life after years of alcoholism, unable to cope with what he has done. It will be universally panned and Ashley will never be able to direct again. The last time anyone will see her will be some tourists at the Santa Monica who will see her riding off into the ocean on the back of the dolphin that played "Flippy" in both feature films.
Lucas will become a Scientologist. He will win an Academy Award because he is a Scientologist, then at the age of 47 he will ascend to the little known 44th level of Scientology and become a being made entirely of "pure sunlight." He will never know pain again, as his pure spiritual light form races through the universe, making a fool of time itself.
Monique Coleman will marry me and sire nineteen of my children. She will be a loyal and dutiful wife, and keep cooking me meals, even while she is giving birth. In 20 years she will come to regret this decision, but by then it will be too late.
Corbin will find out 20 years from now that he had been built by right wing elements in the CIA to collect information on what they perceive as immorality in Hollywood. Realizing that he has unintentionally been betraying his friends for two decades by having his left eye be a secret camera that was constantly feeding information to the CIA, he will hunt down those who built him and exact justice robot style, by burning them to death with the flame thrower they foolishly built into the back of his mouth.
Bart Johnson is already old. Bart Johnson will be dead. The circumstances surrounding his death will be a mystery. But no one will investigate them because the police will have better things to do.
Where will you be in 20 years? Let us know in the comments!