Why Dogs Are Better Than People

I work from home and don't get out much so other than IMing friends, I don't have a lot of human contact. But I do have a dog.

Some of my friends are concerned about my lack of human contact but I'm not. I love dogs. They're way better than people. I'd rather hang out with a dog than a person any day of the week.

Not THIS dog.

If you own a dog you probably already know all this stuff... for the rest of you read on and learn why dogs are better than people!

 

Drama (Or The Lack Thereof)

My dog never bothers me with drama, he never drones on about “that one guy at work” or his stupid boss, he is content to lay in the sun and lick his own crotch... and if I pour gravy on my pants he'll lick my crotch too.

 

A Cheap Date

My dog never want to go to that hot (and expensive) new restaurant. My dog is totally happy with kibble, his own poo and the Happy Meal that I buy him on Fridays. The bonus is that I have a cool collection of Sponge Bob watches.

 

Dogs Can't Drunk Dial

My dog has never called me drunk from a bar at 2am asking for a ride home. The most my dog will do at 2am is nuzzle me under the blankets and let out a stinky fart.

 

Never Asks To Borrow My Car

My dog has never asked to borrow my car, which means he's also never returned my car filthy and low on gas.

 

Dating My Ex-girlfriend

My dog has never asked to date a girl that I have dated after we have broken up. Although he has humped the leg of a few of my friends, which oddly enough I was OK with (since I have never dated any of my friends legs).

 

Crashing On My Couch

Yes, humans and dogs have crashed on my couch. The difference is that after a night of drinking, my dog has never pissed his pants while sleeping on my couch.

I could go on and on about why dogs are better than people. They don't borrow money. They don't move into your house and try to change you. All dogs do is hang out and love you. Dogs are awesome!

Why else are dogs better than people? Tell me in the comments below!

 

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