Why I Was Late
You can't be on time for everything, right?
So when you are slightly not on time, here are some excuses to use.
Got any better late excuses?
The eco-system is all askew and everyone knows it. If you reference how the ozone's depletion has affected the electricity in your house -- which also affects your alarm clock -- you're golden.
Clincher Quote: "Me being late is nothing compared with how bad the seals have it."
Who can challenge you when you claim to have been diagnosed with Ghiradellidosis? It's a rare condition that causes you to eat tons of chocolate and not move your butt from a sitting position. One in 7,000 people are affected. Note: Statistics are not exact...and actually completely made up.
Clincher Quote: "Please be strong for me. I'm ready to fight this."
Pants Shrunk in the Dryer
Everyone has tried to put on pants straight out of the dryer. It's damn near impossible. Especially when you are in a hurry. You wanted to look your best so you washed your best pants. It's not your fault they shrunk.
Clincher Quote: "It said Dry Clean Only, but I thought they just made that s*** up."
Drunk on Life
Life rocks, Man! And you were just totally into the life thing. Who can fault you for stopping to smell the roses along the way?
Clincher Quote: "Duuuuuuuuuude!"
Something was Set on Fire
No one will hold it against you if there was a fire. There's always a fire somewhere, so why not use it as an excuse? No one will know if you were or were not somehow connected -- either as the starter or the victim.
Clincher Quote: "At least I was able to save my computer."
A Ninja Attack
Ninjas are a reality that we have to deal with. They like to attack at random and are pretty much invincible. If you are attacked by a ninja, you will be late...and hopefully still alive.
Clincher Quote: "He had nunchucks!"
Helping the Homeless
You were helping the less fortunate. Who would question you?
Clincher Quote: None Needed.