Wikileaks I Would Like To See

If you have followed the news lately you have seen a new document come out from Wikileaks almost every day.

Most of these documents have to do with other governments and their military secrets. This is all fine and good but there are a few secrets that I would like revealed.

 

1. The Combination to The Padlock On My Bike

I purchased this bike a year ago, used it twice then padlocked it in my garage. I then promptly lost the combination and have never been able to unlock it since.

 

2. That One Girl's Phone Number

I rarely go out to bars and when I went to karaoke night with my friends a very cute and partially drunk young lady gave me her phone number. She wrote it on my forearm not knowing that my friends and I would have a chicken fight in the poll three hours later.

 

3. My Credit Card Number

When I try to buy things online the difficulty comes from the fact that my credit card has been in my wallet for two years and the numbers have worn off. If I could get the numbers that would be great.

 

4. Is That Girl At Work Really Into Me?

Her mixed signals are doing nothing for my game. She will often rub my shoulders while talking about her boyfriend. What is that supposed me.

 

5. What Is The Deal With That Guy At Work?

I seem in the office a couple times every week, but I don't know what he does there. He just kind of wanders around and looks at computers in doesn't really seem to do anything.

 

6. What Is The Deal With Arrested Deveolpment?

That show had a huge fan base, was a really real well written and was growing in popularity. All of a sudden they just cancel the show. Five years later and I'm still bitter.

 

7. Is My Neighbor A Terrorist?

I do not mean to profile anybody, but my neighbor has a thick beard and wears a weird hat. He's either a terrorist, or a hipster. I NEED TO KNOW.

What kind of Wikileaks do YOU want to see?

 

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