The 6 Worst Disney Princesses To Take To Prom
Prom might seem like the perfect place to bring one of the Disney Princesses. I mean can you imagine the haters that would be hating on you? But trust me...it wouldn't be the fairy tale night you might be hoping for. These girls got MAD issues! FOR REAL!!!! Here's a look at the 6 Worst Disney Princess prom dates.
She might seem like a natural choice, especially if your school's prom is rocking the ever-popular 'Under the Sea' theme. I mean she loves to see people dancing and I'm pretty sure even the most amateur teen lothario would have no trouble unhooking that clam bra. But if any chick is gonna ruin the mood by laying a turd in the punch bowl, it's this one. She'll literally lay one in the punch bowl after mistaking it for a toilet. SHE BRUSHES HER HAIR WITH A FORK!
Cinderella seems tailor-made for taking to a formal dance. But don't be fooled by her all-access pass to a fairy godmother and sweatshop rodents. She has a super-strict curfew, so there will be no awkward fumbling in a limo after the dance has concluded. Plus she turns into a complete hag at midnight. And you can bet she'll be non-stop complaining about the friggin' blister her too loose goddamned glass shoes gave her. They make Tom's with sparkles on them girl!
I know I'm supposed to love Belle, because she's like the feminist Disney Princess (which in and of itself is laughable), but she seems like a total pill. Do you wanna have fun on prom night or do you wanna spend it discussing the inappropriate sexualization of every other girl in attendance. Why not spend it with a girl who's being inappropriately sexual instead! Besides the last thing you need is the Beast showing up to kick your ass.
It's one thing to get a shove or a girly smack, when you try to bust a move. But do you really need a cast iron upside the head because you made an error trying to slide into second? Still she could be good to have around as a chaperone, you might need her tears if some dumbass gets alcohol poisoning and almost dies. Her tears are magic, yo.
Because her name translates into 'naughty one' you might think you're gonna be exploring a new world on prom night. Chief Powhatan begs to differ. Plus I don't know what she's smoking but homegirl talks to trees. You don't wanna get expelled for possession a few weeks before graduation. That would be wronger than Governor Ratcliffe's evil gold plan.
Everyone will hate you if you bring a chick who's the fairest of them all to prom. All of the guys will be jealous. And the girls will feel like chumps standing next to her in their 'sexy' Forever 21 frock. If you're lucky enough to get Snow White as a date, better to just skip prom and see for yourself what all the fuss is about. But be forewarned! She's not a fan of everything that's small in stature. You know what I'm saying!
Which Disney Princess would you never take to prom? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!