You Know You're Addicted To The Internet If...
Are you just an internet enthusiast or do you have a problem? There is a BIG difference. It's my job to be addicted, so that's my excuse...that makes it okay, right? The only time my laptop gets 'shut-down' is when I get below 10% reserve power and don't run fast enough to plug in my power cord. I hate when that happens. Here are 8 signs that you too may be an internet addict.
Everything Is Old
If it didn't happen in the last five seconds, you are already over it. If anyone ever actually posted something on Facebook that you've never seen, you'd probably start a church exclusively dedicated to worshipping them. So stop posting the ' Sh*t that [insert group here] says' videos. they're older than the hard butterscotches my grandma keeps in her candy dish.
When Anyone Says The Word First IRL, Your Immediate Response Is To Think They're A Major A-Hole
This word has been forever ruined for me. I know it serves a legitimate purpose IRL...but I just can't hear it anymore without wanting to pummel the person who utters it.
You’ve Never Met Some Of Your Closest Friends
Did the most exhilarating conversation you've had all week take place in the comment section of a YouTube video? Do you have more than ten people you regularly interact with on Facebook that you wouldn't recognize IRL? Was the highlight of your day a 14 year old from Kansas giving you a favorite AND a RT on Twitter? Well, the first two are bad signs, but there's nothing wrong with last one. I'm hoping.
You Feel Insecure About Anything You Say Without Checking It On Google
Even things I know, I know, I have to Google. Just to make sure. I friggin' love Google. Best spell-check ever. When people ask a question my instant response is' Google it'. In fact nothing makes me more annoyed than when someone asks a question on Facebook. YOU'RE ON THE INTERNET, FOOL! Google that sh*t! If you use Bing, you're not addicted.
The Last Book You Read Was The 2,000+ Comments For The Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt On Amazon
I read a lot on the internet. Unfortunately it's mostly the ramblings of madmen and wannabe comedians.
Your Insight Into Yourself And Other People, Is Via Advice Animal Memes
Years of therapy didn't help me. But thanks to the internet, I now know I'm a 'Good Guy Greg' because my dad was an 'Insanity Wolf'. Thanks internet! I want to curl up into a fetal position and have you hold me!
Your Wifi Is Your Lifeline
When your internet is slow do you consider throwing yourself into a wall? If a windstorm knocks out your power, do you care more about finding an internet cafe than the downed power line in your front yard? Do you open your computer immediately upon waking? Do you see Bejeweled Blitz when you close your eyes to go to sleep? Then you might be an internet addict. Join the club.
Are you an internet addict? LIAR! what are some other signs you have a problem? let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments!