7 Foods You Shouldn't Eat Before a Date
You're getting ready for a date. Picking out a great outfit, fixing your hair. But you're hungry and you need to eat a little something first. If you want your date to go well, don't eat any of these foods, which are delicious but will make you gross.
Corn on the cob
I ate corn on the cob covered in creamy sauce on a date one time and quickly realized that everyone looks stupid eating corn on the cob. Eat corn on the cob and you will get a saucy face, and weird corn strings in your teeth. Very attractive.
Wasabi-flavored seaweed sheets
Trader Joe's wasabi-flavored seaweed sheets are delicious, one dollar, and the grossest thing you can imagine making out with. Wasabi. Seaweed. Sheets. Sea. Weed. Wasabi. You get it. Sheets.
A blueberry smoothie
Blueberry seeds all up in your teeth and a purple ring around your mouth. Just the look everyone wants to show off on their next hot date.
Any blue candy or slurpee
I had a blue push pop at a dance one time and talked to plenty of cute boys and then looked at myself in the mirror and saw a MONSTER staring back at me. Blue teeth are disgusting. Don't eat a blue push pop before a date. Just don't.
Garlic and onions
These are classics for a reason. Garlic and onions are the most delicious things to ever grow out of the ground but they will make your mouth taste disgusting all night long. Don't inflict that on another person.
Kimchi is a Korean dish made from pickled vegetables. It's spicy, which is good if you're into that sort of thing, but it will make you smell horrible. It comes out of your pores and people will smell it from three feet away. So really, you should not eat kimchi if you ever want to go on a date again for the rest of your life.
Lots of soda
C'mon guys, you do not want to be burping on a date. I was never going to tell anyone this ever, but, well ... one time someone kind of burped in my mouth while we were making out. It was the worst moment of my life and I hate that person so much and if I ever see them again I will kill them with my bare hands. So don't drink a lot of soda before a date.
You're welcome for these extremely important tips and if I forgot anything crucial let me know @erikaheidewald or in the comments!