SMOSH PIT

5 Hairstyles Guys Should Never Have (If They Want to Get Laid)

Posted By: Melanie on 02.04.10

The weekly update from Melanie on the state of dating affairs in the world.

In today's modern world with computers and motorcars and such, we know that we have to look good in order to attract the opposite sex, but sometimes it seems as though there are some guys out there who shun mirrors like they were the Quakers in early colonial times.

These guys are clueless and if you happen to have one of the following hairstyles growing out of your little noggin, you should take this as an intervention...

The Hipster Mullet

This shouldn't even need to be said because everyone should know mullets are the ultimate no-no, but time and time again, I see attractive boys growing baby mullets.

Sorry sir, the "party in the back" look is just not cute, no matter how ironic you think it is.

The Guido Blow Out

This one goes out to all my fellas in the Dirty Jerz. I'm talking to you, Pauly D! This style looks as though the head has been trapped inside some sort of wind tunnel in a Elmer's plant.

The amount of gel/ height of hair ratio should never exceed 1:1. Plus why in the world would you want to be more flammable?

>The JewFro

Just because Seth Rogen pulls off the Jewfro effortlessly doesn't mean you can just walk right in and pretend like that pile of oddly shaped curls and frizz constitutes something even remotely considered cute.

A simple trim down would reduce some of your Bob Ross similarities considerably. Your chances of getting cast as the goofy but lovable lead in a Judd Apatow movie (0.009%) wouldn't go down too much, we promise.

Girl Hair

We all know that guy. The one who just WON'T cut his hair. The guy you may stand behind on the lunch line and when he turns around you're shocked that he possesses a penis.

These people can be found at the following places: LARPing in the park, Magic: the Gathering Tournaments, and creeping outside your window at night. These creatures should be approached with extreme caution, especially when discussing the removal of their precious locks.

The Bowl Cut

Ian Hecox. Enough Said.

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286 Comments

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AwesomeLenalee15

4 days ago

Wait. Pause back to the bowl haircut. WHY DOES IAN HAVE THAT HAIRCUT? How many weird haircuts did he have?

AwesomeLenalee15

4 days ago

Wait. Pause back to the bowl haircut. WHY DOES IAN HAVE THAT HAIRCUT?

YsoSirius

3 weeks ago

and darren criss pulled off the jew fro before he cut it for glee :) great article though! all the others r uber true

YsoSirius

3 weeks ago

Ian is the only person I've ever seen that can pull off a bowl cut and make it cute. It just wouldn't work on anyone else. I'm afraid I must disagree with the last

isabella6

4 weeks ago

the bowl hair cut....... so true=P

GabbiEbony

4 weeks ago

I disagree with the last one.... Ian hecox = sex on legs with a bow cut.

floopysnoopy

23 weeks ago

I laughed my ass of when I saw Ian's face omfg xD

GINGEROCRAZY

23 weeks ago

ONLY IAN CALL PULL OFF THE BOWL.

ePiC_fAiL998

24 weeks ago

nahhhh ian can totally pull off the bowl cut!! :)

5js123

24 weeks ago

Ian
I'd hit it
(imma girl)

catlover58938

24 weeks ago

Darren Criss pulled off the Jew from.

muffingirl337

31 weeks ago

ian can pull off all of those combined!

ifiretruckingloveyou

31 weeks ago

psh, Ian even looks good bald

ifiretruckingloveyou

31 weeks ago

psh, Ian even looks good bald

want_mine

32 weeks ago

Ian is Hawt! His hair is and was fine.

Kirlia

36 weeks ago

Hey, Ian has awesome hair!
So firetrucking hawt ;)

avengedsevenfold10

38 weeks ago

something tells me Anthony did this one............

BabyHater

38 weeks ago

What?! Ian looks sexy with a bowl cut!! lmao xD

therealeffingdeal451

39 weeks ago

But what about Rock Lee?

Imluciee

40 weeks ago

nawww i love Ians hair :D

sarahsusanoneill

41 weeks ago

NO ONE LOOKS GOOD WITH THE BOWIHAIRCUT! besides Ian :) x

spirit955

43 weeks ago

LOL it;s ian XD

SarahRamone

44 weeks ago

I don't think the hipster mullet is unattractive :P
Nic Cester of Jet is extremely attractive, and he rocks it quite frequently...
http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2009/08/12/12 25760/493549-jet-

tigerbug

44 weeks ago

ian gets laid all the time
ian=shaggy

tigerbug

44 weeks ago

ian gets laid all the time
ian=shaggy

leeleemon12

44 weeks ago

Ian pulls it off. Well, because it's ian.

takano

45 weeks ago

hahahaha ian xD

TaylorM14

45 weeks ago

ian ftw

TaylorM14

45 weeks ago

ian ftw

chocoholic1

49 weeks ago

I dont care if Ian still had that hair I'd still do him!

Phantosm11

50 weeks ago

ianH..XDXDXDXD

hunter cool

50 weeks ago

haha i luv last 1 :D

aeonmaster32

53 weeks ago

I love Ian! His bowl cut hairstyle is legendary!

SmoshIsTheBestestt

54 weeks ago

I laughed so hard when I saw Ian at the end. To be honest, I dont thin kIan is unattractive..

yer_yer2

54 weeks ago

hahaa I love you Ian ;) <3

itzycullen

56 weeks ago

I love Ians bowlhair he's so cute

yaha1313131313

56 weeks ago

the only one i agree is bad is the guido and the girl hair. mullets can be cool

Oryc28

56 weeks ago

nice one bowl hair cut hahaha

rebecca(f)

57 weeks ago

@Nohillenboy seriously?

live,love,smosh

59 weeks ago

i LOVE his bowlcut!!! its like the most amazing thing on planet EARTH <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 333333333333
ian is amazing <3 love you :)

iiSceneBanana

59 weeks ago

I'd do Ian. Even when he had his bowlcut, he's so fricken' cute. :3

KylieLovesSmosh56

60 weeks ago

OMG BEFORE I EVEN CLICK THIS LINK I KNEW IAN WOULD BE ON HERE.
even though i frickin' love his hair, god damn he is soooo adorable. :D

krystalkupkake

61 weeks ago

Don't worry Ian... I'll have sex with you;) haha

xxrawrxxdinosaur

63 weeks ago

omg the guido hair should die :( but i suppose if they like it like that then thats there thing...