Genuinely Hellish Tan FAILS
In ancient times it was the paleness of one’s skin that showed wealth and power. If you were pale you weren’t tilling the fields (maybe just tilling the servants back quarters if you catch my drift. Wink wink. Nudge nudege). The modern era saw the rise of the tan as status symbol because it implied you had just returned from madcap hijinx in St. Tropez with other jetsetters sipping mai tais. Now the tan is just a symbol of douchery at best and horribly inappropriate blackface at worst. You decide:
Why do orange things happen to good people? Let us know in the comments!