Idiotic Bumper Stickers Explain Who You Really Are

There are two types of people: people who put bumper stickers on their cars and people who do not.

People who put bumper stickers on their cars generally do so to express their hatred for politics and/or their president, members of the opposite sex, and basically people in general.

The only thing they will express their love via bumper sticker is Jesus and other religious figures. And maybe some drugs.


Honor Your Kid Over Your President

This is probably left over from the Bush era because no one thinks Obama is particularly stupid.

But, who knows, people with bumper stickers hate way more things than us. So it’s a distinct possibility that Obama has been added to their sh*t list.




The Scary Patriot


“Be Nice to America or We’ll Bring Democracy to Your Country” Ah yes. People who love bumper stickers love democracy. And both America and people with bumper stickers have lots of power. This will be a nice addition to that rental car you get on vacation in that socialist nation, next summer.



Jesus Truth?

People with bumper stickers love God, Jesus, and other corresponding religious figures.

This really gets those middle America Christians, previously convinced Jesus loves everyone. Your bumper sticker just told them the truth.

Have fun in church on Sunday, now that you know everyone hates you!




One-Fingered Wave


This is a classic. This doesn’t say I hate women, men, or anyone in particular. It simply says that you hate people and you may or may not express it by appalling some driver, minding their own business, in their car.

This also means you may have the tendency to do other erratic things while driving, which is useful knowledge for the cops.




The Nice Single Gentleman

This simply means you are a man who hates women and loves sex.

This is a great look for any male driver really looking to stay single forever!




Perfect Family

Ah yes. Labeling each of your family members with adjectives that correspond to the word ass is some good stuff.

Your car just called all your children derogatory things. If you want them to like you or even not jump out of your moving car on the freeway, maybe you could not degrade them on your back windshield?

Just a thought.




Social Networker

This bumper sticker says you were cool and hip in 2005. You know about MySpace. You are young and in touch with things that were cool 5 years ago.

You also hate members of the opposite sex and are better than everyone else.




Independent Psychedelic Woman

A pun on the whole plant-a-tree thing. You get it.

This one is for women who hate men and think they are stupid. This suggests you plant them and sell them as weed. Which is totally illegal, by the way. Got it?

What bumper sticker do you have?