Very Best Of FMyLife: Hugging edition!

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Is there any more pure show of affection than hugs? What could be better than embracing someone you know, care about, and trust? Well, I suppose you could embrace someone you don't know, care about, or trust. In which case, your life is pretty much F'ed. Be sparing with those hugs!

 

Sometimes you just have to dive in head first

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

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You're gonna get through this

Today, I finally told the girl I've been after for more than a year that I'm attracted to her. Her response? A slight hug with a pat on the back as she said "There, there." FML

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Sometimes you should NOT dive in head first

Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML

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No one is making correct choices in this scenario

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

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Oh. Well. Thanks?

Today, at work, a weird old woman randomly came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML

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What kind of person are you dating?!

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

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I would die for your hugs. And now probably will

Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn't want to get me sick. I told her, "If hugging you gets me sick, then I'll just have to deal with being sick." She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven't stopped puking since. FML

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Talk about your penal codes

Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a 'free hugs' sign. FML

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Curse you, bowels!

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

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