5 Animals That Need Their Own Week

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s, “Shark Week”. We get it. But if you already live your life like it’s Shark Week, theoretically, when it is Shark Week, does life still have meaning? I propose we have other animal weeks so that while we’re living like it’s Shark Week, we’re learning something new. Ugh! What?! Science!

 

Manatee Week

My roommate in college’s best friend’s brother’s classmate’s chiropractor once told him that his sister-in-law’s barista’s neighbor’s son once went on a school trip on a boat in Virginia Beach. Suddenly the class noticed there was a manatee off the side of the boat, just hanging out. Some wild and crazy kid, in his infinite wisdom, decided it would be funny to just jump off the boat and onto the manatee and ride it into the sunset. But, as he hit the water and onto what he thought was the manatee’s back, he ripped through the animal and into it’s squishy rotting remains. Turns out the manatee was dead the whole time and its bloated body remained intact as it decomposed. The boy was swimming in dead manatee and puked all over himself when someone yelled, “Oh the hu-manatee!” off the side of the ship. True story?

 

Let that be a lesson to you. But yeah, manatees are great and poor horny sailors thought they were shell boobed mermaids.

 

I’d hit it.

Corgi Week

The real true story is that I’ve been pitching a gallery about the internet’s favorite canine since I was hired and this is my only victory in bringing that sort of stubby legged joy to you the reader. HA! I win.

 

But really, we all win when it comes to a week of watching nothing but clips of Corgis being awesome.

 

We could all pretend we’re the Queen and sip tea and wear giant hats. Truly heaven is a place called earth.

 

Owl Week

Sharks may have the sea all sewn up, but Owls are the craziest predators in the air.

 

They’re also transformers! More than meets the, oh god my eyes!

 

How many licks does it take to get to the center of your heart?

 

Sloth Week

Sample tagline: Sloth Week, Get Comfortable.

The entire week could be this video and I’m fairly sure the rating would be better than The Secret Circle.

There’s already a built in star host who would probably work for tranquilizers.

 

Slow Loris

I rest my case.

 

What animal could you watch a week’s worth of footage on? Let us know in the comments

 

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